Um, so because it’s an election year, some dumbass Republicans are trying to ban gay marriage again…
Yeah, even though it’s not going to work.
Roger Wicker (R-MS), who’s like, brand-spankin’ new (he was appointed to the seat after Trent Lott resigned due to likely criminal activity) and faces re-election already in the fall, and very well might lose to a popular former governor, Ronnie Musgrove, who is a Democrat, decided to introduce the bill, I guess, to make himself look good to all the brainchilds living in Mississippi. (Mississippi isn’t the current dumbest state in the country, though. Louisiana just took it back from Texas. More on that in the next post.) As usual, it has a false bullshit name, like “Marriage Protection Amendment” or something.
But that’s not the story. Nope, the story is the two Senators who signed on as co-sponsors. Quick Quiz: Out of the whole Senate,. who would you be LEAST likely to take moral advice from, especially in matters such as marriage? That’s right:
Two terrible hypocrites: an adulterous bathroom goblin and an adulterous diaper fetishist. Larry Craig and David Vitter should have gay diapered bathroom sex and then filibuster the crap out of each other, because that is what Jesus wanted when he wrote the Fruitcake Constitution.
Yeah, don’t you remember? David Vitter (R-LA) bought lots of cheap whores and made them diaper him, and then he apologized to his wife, who had the DC Madam killed, or Dick Cheney did, or who knows which Republican had the DC Madam killed, but anyway. And Larry Craig went trolling for hot man-on-man action in public airport bathrooms. Because that’s how typical “family values” Republican politicians act.
Dan Sweeney at HuffPost points out:
Sure, we know that the moral high ground was ceded by the far right a long time ago. It all depends just how far back you want to go. The list of disgraced fundamentalist zealots reads like a Who’s Who of giddy peccadilloes: Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, Ted Haggard and on and on. But, generally speaking, once they’ve been outed as self-loathing perverts, they try not to come down on the rest of us anymore.
Perhaps we should send a message to Vitter and Craig, because obviously, it hasn’t hit them yet: You. Do. Not. Get. To. Tell. Us. How. To. Live. Any. More. You lost the right to moralize about the same time you strapped on a pair of adult diapers and/or opened your stance a little too wide.
Haha, I’m sorry, David Vitter’s diapered ass is even funnier to me than Larry Craig tapping his foot for handjobs in the bathroom. And they’re both really fucking funny.
Oh, in case you missed it Ted Haggard has moved back home with his wife and is totally Not Gay Anymore, which, in case you didn’t know, is a fundamentalist Christian euphemism for Still Fucking Gay.
HAHA UPDATE! I KNEW that there had to be a much better nickname out there for Larry Craig than Senator “Wide Stance” or whatever, and there totally is: Senator Water Closeted! That came from a Wonkette post that spells “summer” with a “c” and October with a “Cock.” Yep.
