Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal signs law permitting human castration, oh Good God!

Told you Louisiana was currently the most retarded state in the union.

I’ve written about Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal recently, what with his support for the pretend science “intelligunt desine” bill recently passed there, and, you know, the exorcism he participated in to rid a classmate of her demon invader cancer. He’s an idiot of epic proportions. Also he’s a “rising star” in the GOP — some are going so far as to suggest that he’s the top contender for the veepee slot on the McCain ticket.

Well, now he’s signed a bill that will permit Louisiana to castrate human beings, oh my God:

SB 144 by Senators Nick Gautreaux, Amedee, Dorsey, Duplessis and Mount provides that on a first conviction of aggravated rape, forcible rape, second degree sexual battery, aggravated incest, molestation of a juvenile when the victim is under the age of 13, or an aggravated crime against nature, the court may sentence the offender to undergo chemical castration. On a second conviction of the above listed crimes, the court is required to sentence the offender to undergo chemical castration.

This bill also provides that a court may instead order a physical castration instead of the chemical castration.

Now, before you have the kneejerk “YAH WELL THAT’S WHAT DEM PEDOFAHLS DESARVE BOY HOWDY!” reaction that you’re already secretly having, let’s consider a few things:

1. Duh, these are heinous crimes. That’s not an argument, jackass.

2. Oh muh goodness, the law is completely unconstitutional! Now I understand that, when Conservatives lick on The Constitution, they’re only doing it to pay lip service to something they believe in on principle, but don’t actually understand. I also understand that it’s annoying when liberals play the Constitution card (since it is, like, usually us pulling out the Constitution and saying “Sadly, according to this admittedly wordy and hard to understand document, you can’t do that,” which is a total buzzkill for small-dicked right-wingers who need to prove their manliness), because it reminds people of the literacy gap in this country, or something. But the law is unconstitutional. Sorry!

3. People who molest/rape kids are sick fucking individuals. Mental illness exists in the brain, Sherlock. So, putting aside the fact that our supposedly civilized society should be moving AWAY from cruel and unusual Dark Ages-style punishments, I cannot possibly see how chemically castrating men with hormones would prevent them from committing these crimes with any kind of consistency, especially considering the fact that some men report “regular sexual arousal and fantasies” at the highest dosage levels. So, the question must be asked: Is this really a deterrent to anything, or is it yet another feel-good “tough on crime” measure that sounds great to the hoi polloi, yet doesn’t do jackshit to fix the problem? My instincts lean toward the latter.

Of course, Bobby Jindal’s comments on this went from emotional Tuff Guy incantations of fatherhood to stating the obvious to the utterly bizarre:

“Not only as the Governor of this great state, but as a father of three children, I believe that sexually assaulting a child is one of the very worst crimes and I am glad we have taken such strong measures in Louisiana to put a stop to these monsters’ brutal acts. I want to send the message loud and clear – to the Supreme Court of the United States and beyond – make no mistake about it, if anyone wants to molest children and commit sexual assaults on kids they should not do so here in Louisiana. Here, we will do everything in our power to protect our children and we will not rest until justice is won and we have fully punished those who harm them.”

That’s right, Pedo McIceCreamTruck, you just keep on movin’ and save your free candy for the Texas schoolchildren!

Of course, Jindal’s also pissed about yesterday’s Supreme Court ruling (Kennedy v Louisiana) which stated that it’s simply Not Okay to impose the death penalty on child rapists. This is yet another one of those issues where we all agree that, if it were OUR child, we’d want to kill the motherfucker, but in law we have to decide what is, ding-ding-ding, constitutional. I personally am against the death penalty in all its forms (don’t troll in the comments and try to convince me, I’ve been mulling my position on this for ten years or more), but beyond my own beliefs, it’s ludicrous to suggest that the United States would go backward (the opposite direction from the rest of the developed world) and allow the death penalty in cases where the victim was not killed. If this country is determined to be stagnant on this issue, then fine. We can be the only developed country in the world that kills its citizens. But the Supreme Court did its job and said, “well at least we’re not going backward.” Digby explains the ramifications, had the ruling gone the other way:

I think those who rape children are truly heinous individuals, for sure. But once you start saying the the death penalty is for “heinous” crimes rather than the specifically heinous crime of taking another life, you open up a whole new world of execution worthy categories. There was a time when stealing a horse was considered so heinous that it deserved the the death penalty…[T]he death penalty should be reserved for people who kill. Child molesters should be locked up and never allowed near children again.

Ta-da.

Hey, here’s another way Bobby Jindal is retarded, while we’re on the subject:

While serving in Congress in August 2006, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) slammed the Bush administration for its response to Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. Jindal said the state suffered “trauma” from the “widespread incompetence of the federal, state and local government response.”

But yesterday on Fox News, it was Jindal who was displaying Katrina incompetence. Making a push for expanded offshore oil drilling, Jindal repeated the myth that Hurricanes Katrina and Rita caused “no major” oil spills in the state. Jindal called it a “great unwritten success story.”

(…)

Jindal is clueless about the reality in his own state…[t]he Hurricanes caused offshore oil spills so large that they could be seen from space (check out a picture here.) The Minerals Management Service reported that 113 oil platforms were “totally destroyed” — a total of 124 offshore spills.

In fact, oil seeped onshore into southeast Louisiana, which saw 44 onshore and offshore oil spills. The EPA called the spills “worse than the worst-case scenario.” Even oil industry representatives admitted: “nature can always topple you.”

The success story was never written because it wasn’t a success story, but more like an utter failure story, Bobby, or maybe in words you might understand, THE DEMONS LEAKED INTO THE OCEAN and there was nobody around to do an exorcism!

An idiot in every way. If McCain picks Bobby Jindal, Obama can pick Big Bird for all I care.