Haha, American Family Association is boycotting McDonald’s due to Teh Gay. (UPDATED)

Oh no, they are not lovin’ it!

Basically, like all companies these days who want to make money, McDonald’s recognizes the gay community as one of many groups deserving of corporate sponsorship and support (read: advertising). So they sponsored a pride parade or something, and one of their execs is on the board of the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC), a separate entity which works to support small gay-owned businesses. I don’t know what else, because frankly, the only people who obsess over which companies are being nice to gay people are the mouthbreathers at the American Family Association, who still think they “won” something with their boycott of Ford. (Ford’s sales dropped, but so did all American car sales…it was directly attributable to the economy and poor choices made by the big three — it had nothing to do with homosexuality, but AFA thinks it does, and we’ll let them believe that if it makes them feel better.) Okay, so they’re boycotting. Whatever. Predictably, they’ve set up a comments page (yay!) where their followers can sound off and shake their Bibles at the Hamburglar. No shit:

“There’s lots of other eating establishments that will be getting the money I used to spend at McD’s (hundreds of dollars a year).”

Chunkster.

Can’t just stay neutral in the culture war? No problem- color me McGone.

No, we McCan’t. Why? Because there IS no “culture war,” except that which has been dreamt up by the likes of the American Family Association.

“Christian Values are very important for a company that portrays a family oriented atmosphere. This has changed my mind about eating there again until your choice changes. Good thing there are others Restaurants just as good and some better than you. It won’t be hard to stay away. C. Wilson Houma, Louisiana”

That’s good, Mr. Wilson, make fun of their food. That’s the way to make ‘em feel bad. The hysteria of these idiots would suggest that suddenly, under cover of night, McDonald’s had installed disco balls and turned the play areas into foam parties…

“I am sure ray Croc must be weeping with the sad news McDonald’s has come so far from it’s beginnings. Just like the rest of this country…Not a family friendly place anymore. Thank goodness for Chic Fil A…still true to it’s founders beliefs and still VERY VERY profitable”

Ray Kroc doesn’t care, but yes, please, go to Chick Fil-A, where I will not run into you. (Oh, before you accuse me of not going to Chick Fil-A because it’s a Christian organization, I’ll explain: Their chicken makes me physically ill, and since chicken is kind of “their thing,” I just avoid the place altogether.)

“I will no longer take my children nor support McDonalds as a FAMILY restaurant! FAMILY means Man Woman and Child not the opposite… I’m highly disappointed in McDonalds! What a disgrace!”

What the hell is “the opposite”???

Torch. Wielding. Mob of Retards.

“I am disappointed but determined to avoid McDonald’s wonderful fast food until this affiliation with the NGLCC is terminated.”

It’s going to be VERY hard to avoid those tongue-scorching apple pies, but avoid them I will! It’s so funny, though — these people are part of the same political party that encourages the free market at whatever costs. Marketing to and supporting the gay community has been shown to be VERY GOOD for business. Simply put, gays spend a lot of money. That’s why the California marriage bigot amendment is going to fail. Republican business interests realize that marriage equality is going to be an economic boon for the state. I think the Republican party is going to split before too long. The theocratic horde that wants to impose their narrow interpretation of their religion on everyone else…they just can’t co-exist with the pro-business arm of the party much longer. (They’re not really very good at co-existing with anyone, really.)

Put on your seatbelt for the most ignorant misinformed comment in American Family Assocation history:

“Not all but most gay men are for the group NAMBLA (North America man/boy love Association) and with McDonald’s targeting kids in their commercials it is a strange and scary association McDonald’s places itself. Until McDonald’s denounces the NAMBLA group and any gay agenda I will boycott them. Oh by the way I have a big mouth and I will email and tell everyone I know to boycott McDonald’s.”

Oh Good Lord. Does NAMBLA even exist anymore? This would be the most hilarious urban myth ever if it weren’t used against an entire class of people. For the last fucking time (not really, there will still be stupid people tomorrow): 1. Pedophiles are much more likely to be heterosexual than homosexual, due to sheer numbers. 2. That being said, pedophilia is a condition that ALL reputable medical professionals will tell you has absolutely nothing to do with homosexuality. 3. Yes, NAMBLA exists, but it isn’t in any way, shape, or form, an integral part of the gay community. Any associations are more of the “riding on the gay community’s coattails” variety. (Sort of like how some polygamists are feeling emboldened by the gay community’s advances in the cause of marriage equality. This doesn’t confirm a “slippery slope,” Chicken Little, since these are separate distinct issues that will each have to be argued in courts of law on their OWN merits.) Gay marriage doesn’t set a precedent for polygamy, and the sickness of pedophilia has nothing to do with homosexuality. The only reason this is trotted out again and again, even though the links are nonexistent, is that it inflames the frothing hordes. Fewer and fewer people buy the myth each year because more and more people realize that they know gay people and that groups like the American Family Association have been simply fucking lying to them for years.

Okay, a couple more, then I have to do something else.

“It is unfortunate that you have chosen to support the Gay agenda. My son would eat McDondalds everyday if he could. Unfortunately he has eaten his last Happy Meal.”

My handlers have activated my original programming, and I will deny my children happiness because of the boogeyman! This comment sums up the true struggles of these people, yea, the crosses they bear:

“I’ll miss your Asian Salads. I hope you miss my money that bought them.”

Oh my goodness, that reminds me of Calvary, because…oh wait, no it doesn’t. These people are loons!

“One sandwich I have enjoyed for as long as I can remember, is the Big Mac. NONE of my family, including my children and their children will be visiting McDonald’s in the future. McDonald’s has always tried to influence our children, in a positive way. THIS IS BY FAR THE WORST THING YOU HAVE DONE, AND I WILL NOT LET MY CHILDREN BE INFLUENCED BY YOU. There goes 5 more Big Macs, and 9 more Happy Meals. I hope the number keeps adding up and your stock drops dramatically. You really should be ashamed of yourselves over this.”

5 more Big Macs, 9 more Happy Meals, PER DAY! Because we are fat and do not use condoms!

Maybe America’s Fundamentalist community will lose weight. That would be healthy.

To end, let’s look at these peoples’ sick and fucked-up priorities up close:

“McDonald’s has made an extremely sad decision. My children enjoy eating at McDonalds and spending time at the playground. No more!!! Also, we will no longer be sponsoring the Ronald McDonald House. May God deal with you in this sinful decision and stand you have taken.”

No more Playland, and also no more helping kids with terminal diseases. That’s how much America’s Fundamentalist Christian Retards hate gay people.

And they wonder why people are running away from the church at lightning speed…

This is why.

There are pages and pages of comments here.

Also, Peter LaBarbera is totally excited about the boycott, and you can read about how this is going to give him a majorly hot body here. No more chunk for Porno Pete!

UPDATE: It seems that the American Family Association isn’t allowing dissenting viewpoints on their little comments page, you know, even though it’s supposedly a public comments section. Jeremy at G-A-Y decided to do a little experimenting to see whether the AFA was willing to allow a free marketplace of ideas. Two comments that showed half-hearted support for gays and for McDonalds? Not approved. A stupid one in support of the boycott? Approved. (Until the AFA realized Jeremy was making fun of them. Haha. Stupids.) A commenter at the G-A-Y link pointed out that, given the sheer number of comments on their boycott page, most of them are probably from AFA staffers. That’s part of how they bilk the buffoons and make themselves look more important to corporations. (It works with their buffoons, but not really with the corporations.)

Anyway. I understand, though, why extreme conservative fundamentalists don’t tend to allow unmoderated comments sections. In an open marketplace of ideas, fundamentalists fall flat again and again, and always will. Quick, name a respected scholar, in any field, who happens to be a Fundamentalist Christian.

Right.

Just doesn’t work like that, does it?