Shorter Fred Thompson Republican Convention Speech (UPDATED)

POW.

POW again.

POW?

POW.

“Being a POW isn’t a qualification for being president…but it does reveal character.”

(No, it doesn’t! It reveals that you were captured!)

Jesus, Republicans are stupid.

Just blow a few dogwhistles and the cheeto clouds start a-flyin’ through the air as the paws clap clap clappity…

Oh now he’s doing the Ronald Reagan dogwhistle!

Imbeciles.

UPDATE:
Ha ha, Wonkette wrote this at the beginning of their live-blog for the Thompson speech, which means they wrote it before he spoke. It’s funny because it’s almost exactly what the moron said:

Old Dipshit Magee is gonna plain tell folks how’s good ol’ folks goin’ figger times ’bout proper we types need set up Mr. & Missus McPalin needin’ not have a colored for preznit

Chortle.

19 Responses to “Shorter Fred Thompson Republican Convention Speech (UPDATED)”

  1. right wing conspiracy Says:

    it’s not that he got captured it’s what he did while captured that shows character. You however are a character.

  2. Wowee, I see what you did there with the words and the homonyms and stuffies!

    It’s like when I say “Dad I’m just going out to the backyard,” and he replies, “I’ll backyard you!”

  3. right wing conspiracy Says:

    You still live with your dad? Ha ha ha ha

  4. Did I say I lived with my dad?

    No.

    You stupid fucking dumbass.

  5. right wing conspiracy Says:

    Your literary writings are a true testament to your intellect. Good job

  6. My literary writings?

    As opposed to my other kinds of writings?

    No, I just think you’re a stupid dick and not worth having a real conversation with.

    John McCain’s shitty RECORD on taking care of our veterans and troops, plus his utter carelessness in committing them to wars of choice…

    Yeah, his character couldn’t be lower, and this is coming from a military family, so go fuck yourself, you moron.

  7. right wing conspiracy Says:

    If I’m such a stupid dick not worth having a conversation with. Why are you having a conversation with me. Also I think his record is just fine. This coming from a U.S. Army man and full military family.

  8. Guess who liked the GI Bill he worked like hell to block.

    Or maybe you like it when he blocks funding for the VA.

  9. er, Guess YOU* liked the GI Bill…

  10. I mean, dude John McCain (and MOST Republicans) get failing grades from all the veterans’ organizations, every single year.

  11. But as to having a conversation with you, well, you trolled my blog.

  12. right wing conspiracy Says:

    So If this is your blog and I see the time stamp is 4 hours ahead of me then that means your not even an American. So if that is the case you can lick my asshole as I fart in your mouth you hateful little socialist. I hope my next deployment is 40,000 km over your house.

  13. Hahahahahahaha!

    You are so homoerotic!

    I’m getting my US Navy brother in here to laugh at you, hold on…

  14. Leaving aside the fact that if your next deployment was 40,000 km over my house, you would in outer space…

  15. right wing conspiracy Says:

    40000 m sorry

  16. right wing conspiracy Says:

    bored now

  17. Uh huh.

    FAIL.

  18. as a viewer of the convention and fred’s speech, it certainly seems as if they are exploiting mccains capture. the narrative twisted and was so elaborate that i was left wondering what the message was. is it, “mccain was shot down. vote for him.”?

  19. Remember, Bill:

    Jammakain didn’t love Amurka until he was “deprived of her company” as a POW.

    Gallant has always loved his country.

    Goofus had to be captured first.

    http://breaktheterror.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/obamamcew.jpg

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