TONIGHT WE ARE ALL IN TEH TANK!!!!!11!! (veepee debate liveblog)

Tonight there is a special debate! 

Can Sarah Palin spell her name?  Is she carrying guns?  Will Joe Biden fall into a piteous fit of tears and let Palin win? 

IS GWEN IFILL IN TEH TANK!!!!!!111!!

8:02  Sarah Palin wants to know if she can call Biden “Joe”?  NO, whore!

8:05  Sarah Palin is saying nothing about going to soccer games with poor bitters.

8:06  Also, she’s lying about John McCain’s record.  LOL.

8:08  Palin now repeating the lie that John McCain’s “fundamentals of the economy” was about the American worker.  Lying twunt.

8:09  Um, Sarah was right about the predatory lenders bearing more responsibility for the crisis than the borrowers, but isn’t that, um, Barack Obama’s position?  LOL.

8:13  Sarah Palin will heat up the economy with her booby knockers.  Blah blah blah lying about Obama’s tax record/plan.

8:14  Palin:  “I MAY NOT ANSWER THE QUESTIONS, BUT I WILL SHOOT GUNS INTO THE AIR IN A BIKINI!”

8:17  She said, “Todd ‘n’ I.”  Drink your mother’s blood.

8:18 OH NO HEALTHCARE FOR EVERYBODY, says Sarah.  It is a fact that John McCain’s healthcare plan is punitive for, um, everyone.

8:21 HAHAHAHAHAHA JOE BIDEN CALLED MCCAIN’S HEALTHCARE PLAN “THE ULTIMATE BRIDGE TO NOWHERE.”

8:22 Moosepanties is about to say something totally cunty, I can feel it.

8:23  Big Panty being all dickish about how awesome she is with Teh Oilz.

8:24  Sarah Palin:  “I’m a showpony!  I haven’t said anything to people, so I can’t break my promises!”

8:25  John McCain is too mean to let Sarah Palin do nice things with oil money!

8:26 Would Palin have supported McCain’s bankruptcy bill?  Palin:  “Sure, why not?  But anyway, let’s talk about these dingleberries I just found in my vagina.”

8:27  Whatever, Gaffey, you were wrong about the bankruptcy bill too, don’t play.

8:29  Why the Joe Sixpack is she yammering on about energy?  Oh.  That’s the only thing she knows how to talk about.

8:31  Palin:  “Not every activity of man causes global warming!   Masturbation?  Nah.  Ice cream?  Heck no, it’s cold!  I don’t want to talk about the causes!  AAAAH SCIENCESZZZZZZZ!!!”  Biden:  “If you don’t understand the causes, how can you come up with a solution?”  (You dumb fucking pisshole.)

8:34  Palin:  “um, it’s drill baby drill, lol, because everybody wanna drill me.”

8:35  Biden:  Same-sex benefits yes.  Let’s see what Bible Spice says about teh gay.

8:37  Palin:  I HATE GAYS.  More on the “choosing” to be gay, thing.  Still, nobody has met her gay friend.

8:38  I’m so tired of Democrats having to pretend they care about gay marriage.  On the other hand, the stupidest wingnuts are pissed at Palin right now for saying she doesn’t support discrimination.

8:39  Palin:  “I like teh surge!”  Um, haha, Iraq is starting to fall apart again.

8:40  Palin:  “Early withdrawal keeps Iraq from becoming pregnant with lots of babies!”  Absolute bullshit about us being at “pre-surge numbers.”  No, dumbshit, we aren’t.

8:42  Palin with a stupid canned line about “white flaaaaag of surrrrrindur.”  Adult retarded child.  Ooh, Cunty Barracuda is comin’ out!

8:44  Nice, tying Cheney & McCain together, and also I like the “without studying the history of the past 700 years” line about the Shi’a/Sunni conflicts.  Halfway through without any gaffey mcfaggertons!

8:47  Biden telling the truth about Pakistan.  Bible Spice’s turn is comin’ up!  I AM GOING TO STAB HER IN THE CUNT WITH A GUMMY WORM IF SHE SAYS NUCULAR AGAIN.  Now just a bunch of dumb shit about Ahmadinejad, who, as Barack Obama understands, isn’t the most powerful person in Iran.  Duh.  Stupid.

8:48  Goddammit, she can say naivete, but not “nuclear”???

8:49  Barack Obama never said he would engage on a direct presidential level.  Also, Rapey McKitterton is talking about “women’s rights”?

8:51  WHATCHOO THINK ABOUT THEM JEWS, SARAH?  “oh, no more holocausts, and also blue skies during the day, and carrots for bunnies.  all of those things for Israel.”

8:53  Nice, Biden, going after Bush’s shitty policies toward Israel.  ESPECIALLY forcing the elections on the Palestinians.  Sarah is Palin is so excited that Biden loves some Jews too!

8:56  Sarah doesn’t like the nucular weapons because far too many people die in nuclear blasts!

8:58  I like how Joe Biden’s repeating things just to make sure the dumb fuckholes at home hear him.

8:59  Barack Obama reached around the aisle to Dick.  Lugar.  Har har.

9:05  Is she really bitching about “for it before I was against it” re: Joe Biden – Iraq?  Like her bridge to nowhere?  Like Bristol marrying her redneck rapist?  Oh wait, she hasn’t changed her mind on that yet.

9:06  John McCain knows how to win a war!  I mean, how to abandon his fellow men the second he gets back!

9:07  That’s a good question!  How would your administration be different from your running mate’s?  Sarah’s would be different b/c she would name that Kenyan witchhunter Secretary of the Rapture, and Bristol’s various babies would become Supreme Court justices.  Oh, she’s answering now.  Palin:  “God forbid anyone ever dies!  MAVERICK MAVERICK MAVERICK!  ANWR ANWR ANWR!”

9:08  HAHA Sarah Palin just said Americans have a choice between a ticket that will cut taxes, win the war, and create jobs, or a retard dingbat one.  She didn’t identify which is which, because she was basically endorsing Barack Obama.  She just “SAY IT AIN’T SO”ed and “DOGGONE’IT”ed in the same breath.

9:13  All the kids get extra credit, but they have to repeat 3rd grade, because Sarah is making everybody stupider.

9:14  Palin is reading from Wikipedia, I mean Conservatardia, about what a Veeeepeee does.

9:15  This is why dumb asses like Michelle Malkin are pissed about Ifill.  She asks TEH HARD QUESTIONS.  Also, did people just accidentally start to clap when Biden said Cheney’s been the most dangerous Veep in history?  Also, somebody just texted my best friend and said “Did you hear when Palin said John McCain has already tapped me?”

9:18  Wut’s ur weakness, Sarah?  MOOSE PIE.

9:18  …and extramarital cock.

9:19  Long walks on the beach with Ronald Reagan’s dead body…

9:21  IF SHE SAYS SOMETHING CUNTY RIGHT NOW, SHE IS THE DEVIL AND WE SHALL FOLLOW HER TO WASILLA WITH TORCHES AND KNIVES.

9:22  FREUDIAN!  FREUDIAN!  Moosetits just said that John McCain is the man we need to leave…for five and a half years…in hell!

9:23  Biden shed a tear, which set off his passion sensors, and now he’s taking Palin for a RIDE.  Maverick, John McCain is NOT.

9:25  Things Palin has changed:  BRIDGE TO NOWHERE.  And panties.  Once a week.  In Alaska they like the musky grundle.

9:27  Sarah would change the tone by firing people with whom disagrees!  Or shootin’ ‘em if the VEEPEE can’t do that!  Haw haw! 

9:28  Palin, again:  You can support a ticket that creates jobs and makes us energy independent, or you can support McCain/Palin!

9:29  You know, she’s all fluff.  She really is.  There is nothing there.  What worries me is that many people in this country are too stupid to realize that.  You know who you are.

9:30  That being said, her coat is shiny, she has no fleas, she doesn’t pull when she sees a cat, she barks when there’s somebody on the porch, she can count her age (in horse years) with her hooves, she sleeps standing up, which is a great talent, and she doesn’t smell like a barn at all.

9:54  In the postgame, Chris Matthews just asked Claire McCaskill if Sarah Palin showed a lack of knowledge?  Claire McCaskill goes, “Well it was interesting to me that Sarah Palin decided not to answer a lot of the questions!”  I heart her.